We have all been in arguments which seemed to have no end and no solution in sight. We have all had to agree to disagree at some point in our lives; most of the time with people who we really care about. We have all been in situations where we felt hurt because of something someone said or did. During an argument, we all feel the need to win. Winning an argument has nothing to do with the person who can scream the loudest nor does it have anything to do with the person who makes the biggest threat. Winning an argument has nothing to do with winning at all.
Understand one important fact; you are not going to win every argument and it should not be a goal. The goal is to maintain cordiality at all times, especially during the times when we allow our emotions to get the best of us. Let’s face it; no one likes to lose at anything, especially arguments. If you look at it from a win/lose perspective, you will have difficulty overcoming this minor obstacle. In order to establish a win/win situation, you must be willing to be the bigger person. You must also be willing to look past the present situation and hope that tomorrow will bring the possibility of a better relationship and possible solutions.
A good friend once told me, “Sometimes being the bigger man sucks but it sure beats the alternative”; and we can only imagine what the alternative is. I am not interested in finding out and neither should you. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean that you are weak. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean that you are any less effective at arguing your point. Being the bigger person means that you made a conscious decision to move forward. Don’t lose a friend or spouse over your foolish pride. Don’t end a good relationship because your pride won’t allow you to apologize first. Be the bigger person, apologize and choose to move forward.
Not every battle is worth your energy. Sometimes we are the hardest on the people who are the closest to us simply because we want to prove a point. Prove that you can stay above the fray and be the bigger person.
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