You know it will happen yet you cannot prepare for it. It occurs daily, hourly, in fact it happens every second. Throughout your day you experience this and throughout your life it will continue to transpire.
This is perhaps the one thing, no matter how hard you try, you cannot avoid. What I am talking about is change. Change is inevitable.
Step 1: Change the way you look at change.
Change brings about new opportunities for you to grow and learn. While many of us have accepted that change will happen in our lives, countless others struggle to adjust. Stay away from and do your best not to join nor create a group of whiners, complainers and antisolutionists. Yup, I totally made up that word but here’s what it means: An antisolutionist is one who always finds fault with change and never offers up any solutions.
If you are a guilty of being an antisolutionist, there’s hope. Your primary goal should be to maintain an understanding and accept the fact that change must and will happen and it can potentially be a good thing. How you respond to change is more important than the change itself.
Think about a time when change was necessary. A good example is a failed relationship or a negative work environment. Many people choose to stay where they are because they are comfortable. Being comfortable is not something someone who wants to be successful subscribes to. Being successful means you have to learn how to roll with the punches and adjust accordingly. When you inevitably face change, adjust your strategy in order to win.
Remember, the only thing that is constant is change.
To The Top!
You may find this hard to believe but I love trials and tribulations. I love challenges. I love when the going gets tough. I love having to go through difficult and challenging times in my life. I love when things seem out of control and in disarray. I love when it seems like there’s nowhere else to go and no one around to help you. I bet you’re wondering, how can anyone love all of these seemingly negative things? It’s quite simple actually, here’s why.
If you’re reading this then one can reasonably assume that you are alive. You may not be well but you are certainly alive. And if you’re alive then no situation is insurmountable. Meaning, there is no situation or circumstance too big for you to overcome. I truly believe in the saying “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” I love going through trials and tribulations because without these trials and tribulations there’s absolutely no way I can build the type of muscles necessary to overcome any obstacle.
What gets me nervous is when things are going well. It’s not that I don’t want things to flow smoothly, it’s just that I know with every test comes a testimony. With every loss comes a discovery. With every fall there’s a rise. The reason why I said I love experiencing trials and tribulations is because I know what naturally follows; a triumph. When things don’t seem to be going your way, embrace it and try to learn the lesson you were meant to learn from this situation. If you don’t learn the intended lesson, you are bound to experience these trials over and over again until you do.
Believe it or not, if your current situation seems unstable, unhappy or uncertain, you are in a great place! Think of your circumstances as a storm and maintain the understanding that all storms must pass. You may have to pick up the pieces once the storm has passed but that should be the least of your worries. Surviving the storm is what’s most important.
If you are going through a storm in your life, keep going!
To The Top!
Your breakthrough will come when you least expect it.
This message is written especially for you. You who woke up this morning and fell asleep with “it” on your mind. On your long traffic filled ride to work, it remains on your mind. The clock is nearing noon and your lunch break presents another opportunity to invest negative hours into this problem. All you do all day is worry about your problems.
Worrying is counterproductive. While worrying may serve as a step towards the discovery of a solution, you should consider skipping it. The more time you spend worrying about a problem, the less time you’ll have devoted to finding the solution. Another phenomenon is the lack of faith many show after they pray for an answer. You pray then worry then hope. The odds of discovery using this method, at this rate, are impossible. Refocus your energy on what matters most and make it happen!
Many people have the solution at their disposal but lack the necessary discipline to execute. They make it pass the worry stage, breeze through the possible solutions step and stop at the final stage; execution. You must not only think you must also act. Action is required in order to ensure a desired outcome. And just like that, while you are working, your breakthrough will meet you half-way. It truly is that simple.
When you genuinely believe in a desired outcome, worrying becomes futile.
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Sometimes things don’t go as planned and when that happens, don’t question it. I used to have a bad habit of automatically thinking the worst when something didn’t quite go my way; I know I am not the only one who thought or thinks like this. As soon as it didn’t go as I planned it, I automatically defaulted to the worst possible outcome. I am better equipped to handle changes now and I’d like to share with you how I was able to overcome this obstacle.
First, understand that change is inevitable and nothing is constant except change. Simply, accept the fact that if your plans change, this new direction may very well be where you were intended to go; don’t ignore it and don’t challenge it. While most people are uncomfortable with change, that does not mean you have to follow suit. Plans change, plans get canceled and plans get scrapped; this is absolutely normal.
When the winds of change automatically adjusts your sail, learn to trust your new direction. Some of us are so stuck on forcing a failed plan into action that we neglect to acknowledge that some things simply won’t work out. When that happens, change your plan or change your implementation strategy.
In addition, it is imperative that you maintain an understanding that God is in complete control. Your plans have changed in the past and the world didn’t end. When things don’t go as planned, there is usually a good reason why. Sometimes the reason may never be discovered yet that should not prevent you from moving forward. Dust yourself off and try again.
Remember, plans are meant to be improved and adjusted until your desired outcome is realized. This improvement is based on your ability to accept change and your deep understanding that change happens whether you like it or not.
When things inevitably change, learn to trust and fully embrace it; this may be the direction you were meant to go in the first place.
To The Top!
It has been said that the only thing that is constant is change. Meaning the only thing that you can definitely count on happening sooner or later is change. Since we know that we will inevitably encounter change, we may as well prepare for it. The best way to prepare for change is to mentally and physically be alert. By being alert I mean staying ready. Remember, you don’t have to get ready if you stay ready. Work on staying ready and alert at all times.
Change happens whether we are on board or not. The goal is to see and build on the “good” that always comes from any change experience. Granted the good doesn’t always present itself in the challenge but that’s when you have to work at discovering it. For some, this can be difficult. Difficult means you have to work a little harder; don’t be afraid to work hard.
When the winds of change eventually cross your path, embrace it and adjust with it. Think of yourself as a sailboat that’s reliant upon the wind currents to progress you forward. If your main sail is not up and connected to a firm mast, you will not move, will become very unstable and may eventually sink. If you stand firm like the mast and always keep your main sail up, then you can adjust with the changing winds. Learn to have your sail open in order to adjust with the changes going on in your life.
The changes we experience are always for the better; whether it seems that way or not. Don’t be afraid to move in order to improve your circumstances.
To The Top!
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. Just because you release yourself from a toxic relationship doesn’t mean that you’ve completely given up. In fact, you are freeing yourself from the possibility of recurring hurt and disappointment. How much hurt can you take before you decide that enough is enough? Some relationships simply run their course. Some relationships are naturally incompatible yet many of us try to force that relationship to work; this method is doomed from the start. When we try to force something that doesn’t naturally fit we will be met with countless road blocks.
When you let go of a toxic or unhealthy relationship, you are releasing yourself from the grip of one in order to open yourself to the possibility of another. Simply, when you decide to move on, you are increasing the possibility of moving forward. Relationships come and they certainly go. Some are permanent, some are not. The constant in all of this is you. You need to constantly change what you are doing and in some cases how you are doing those things until you get what you’ve always wanted. Be true to yourself. When we change our lives for the sake of others, we end up losing in the long run. The goal is to find someone who you are compatible with, someone who knows you well and someone who shares the same morals and values as you do. Most importantly, the goal is to establish a relationship with someone who loves you just for you.
Don’t be afraid to let go of the past; that is truly the only way you can progress into the future. Remember, letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it simply means you came to an understanding that there are some things that simply cannot be and perhaps were not meant to be. Just because your relationship failed doesn’t mean that you did.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up and giving up doesn’t mean you are weak. It simply means that you are strong enough to let go.
To The Top!
If you would like to accomplish any goal you set forth you must first be dedicated to seeing it through to the end. Seeing it through to the end is a mere fraction of the entire equation; your attitude is another critical piece. The truth is, your attitude ultimately determines your altitude. Simply, how far you go is determined by how you respond to the world around you. If your heart is filled with disdain then the world around you will respond reciprocally.
Your attitude can mean the difference between winning and losing. I once worked with a person who was a hard worker and fairly productive. This person must’ve been very familiar with the definition of success because they always showed up. We all know that a great percentage of winning comes from you simply showing up. This makes clear sense because if you don’t show up, you can’t compete and if you can’t compete, you can’t win. Now showing up isn’t enough, what you do once you’re there is what matters most. This person would show up but their attitude overshadowed the great work they were doing and thus this person was replaced with someone with a better attitude. A bad attitude serves as an overcast to your sunny disposition; most people prefer the sun over the rain.
Your attitude is exactly what can open some doors and close countless others. Commit to memory the fact that you attract more bees with honey not a fly swatter. You must be the honey in this example if you are going to attract the right attention from the right people. One of those bees you attract can mean the difference between you accomplishing your goals or not. It is never too late to adjust your attitude.
People deal with people because they like them; if you are not well liked then you must adjust your attitude.
To The Top!
It baffles me how upset some people get when another person, in some cases complete strangers, refer to them in a name outside of their given names. It is inexplicable how some people allow others to control their emotions. While some people may not get upset if they are called a name, I certainly understand why someone would react this way. Early on in my quest for peace and understanding, I allowed others to control my emotions by reacting hastily. After plenty of practice, I now maintain complete control over my emotions. I repeat, plenty of practice.
What others call us will only hurt us if we accept the name as our own. People will speak ill into the atmosphere attempting to pierce your core by referring to you in a manner unbecoming of a cordial person. W.C. Fields said it best, “It ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to.” It is critically important that you understand implicitly what Mr. Fields is trying to say here. Do not debase yourself to the names people call you; you are under no obligation to accept them.
By virtue of the simple fact that you are on your way to the top, people will talk about you, lie on you, and certainly call you names; you do not have to answer to any of them. Since people are going to call you names anyway, be sure that one of the names they call you is “successful”.
Understand that you will face obstacles like these along the way; the challenge is how you will choose to respond to them. Your response should be one that does not compromise the incredible person you are. Each time think about your response before you respond. Walk in the understanding that you were born to win and winning isn’t easy but it can become a habit if you practice it daily.
The next time someone is foolish enough to call you something you’re clearly not, remember you are not what they call you if you don’t answer to it.
To The Top!
She stands in front of the mirror staring at herself wondering if anything has changed. She has an image of what she feels she is supposed to look like buried in her head yet that image is incongruent with how she sees herself in reality. With eyes wide open, a hopeless gaze overcomes her eyes as she stares hopelessly at the image in front of her. She wonders why her body hasn’t changed, not taking into consideration that it has been over six months since she last visited a gym. You cannot reasonably believe and/or expect that your circumstances will change if you are not the change agent.
We have all had the unpleasant experience of having to face the man-in-the-mirror and questioned the person staring back at us. We consistently make the error of comparing ourselves to others; wondering why God did not bless us with what He seemed to freely give to them. Learn to accept the person you are. You are made in his image, and according to Him, you are perfect. If you believe that he does not make mistakes and he made you than surely you realize that he did not make a mistake when he made you. Learn to love yourself unconditionally.
Although it is important to strive for perfection, it is equally important to understand that no one is perfect. Nope; not even the person you imagined after you read that statement. Not even them. Everyone wishes they could improve some aspect of their lives. I encourage you to continuously seek opportunities that will make you better. There is nothing wrong with how you were created; you must honor and protect your temple. You already know what you have to do if you are unsatisfied with your situation; do something about it. It’s not enough to simply wish things were different; you must take charge and influence the change you seek.
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. – Author Unknown
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There are some things in our lives that we have complete control over like the brand of toothpaste we prefer to use and which outfit to wear to school or to the office on any given day. In fact, we control many facets of our lives; from the type of gas we put in our cars to the friends we choose to accept on Facebook. While we maintain control over many aspects of our lives, there are some things that we cannot control.
One of the most critical skills a person can acquire is the skill of acceptance. Believe it or not, acceptance is one of the most difficult choices many feel they must make. In fact, that is the first step towards overcoming any obstacle. Accepting the fact that there are some things in your life that you cannot control will allow you to live a more stress-free life. Many of us are programmed to believe that we have complete control over our circumstances. We are so confident we are in control that our egos will not allow us to recognize our countless failed attempts at “creating” an answer.
Understand that there are some events that will take place in your life that will force you to choose between sinking and swimming. If you are on this side of the dirt, there is still hope that you can swim. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Now the reason, in many cases, may not be prevalent at first. It may take some time before you understand and are able to fully answer the “why” in your situation. There may be some things that you may never know the reason for; accept it. I urge you to practice the skill of acceptance. Understand and embrace that some things are out of your control. Stop trying to play God.
God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the courage to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
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