Some of us have a hard time asking for help. In most cases, we are so used to doing everything ourselves that we won’t even bother soliciting the assistance of others. Understand that while you are very capable of figuring out your own solutions, you may be able to find one twice as fast if you simply collaborated with others.
In some cultures around the world, it is taboo to ask for help. More specifically, you may have grown up in a home where asking for help was frowned upon. Growing up, I watched my father struggle as he attempted to figure things out himself. I watched as his pride motivated him to choose to remain silent while asking for help would have taken the same effort. It is a combination of pride and ego that restricted him and restricts most of us from reaching out and simply asking for help. This way of thinking and doing was passed down to me much like we learn and adopt a majority of our behaviors from our parents. That does not make it right nor should it be an excuse.
Although a majority of us try, we cannot figure everything out ourselves. Although some see it as a weakness to seek help, it truly takes a strong individual to put their pride aside and ask for help. In my experience, I did not understand the importance of seeking assistance until I finally took a chance and asked. I broke away from what I grew up learning was the way to do things and have benefitted tremendously. The time you spend on your journey towards a goal can be reduced by half if you simply ask for directions. If you don’t ask, you will not receive.
I strongly encourage you to ask for help, you would be surprised how many people would come to your rescue.
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There are so many people who need help in the world. Most people think that it is impossible to help them all. Yet if we try to help one person that may very well open the flood gates that will allow countless others to receive help. Our action can lead to subsequent actions if we pay it forward. Most of us are fortunate enough to have food to eat and a roof over our heads. Unfortunately, that is not a fact for a greater part of the world. That may sound extreme but you truly don’t realize what you have until you see others living without it or until it’s gone.
Never think that what you are able to give won’t make a dent in the problem; not giving at all is so much worse. Some people restrict from giving because they think that the “little” they are able to give won’t make a difference at all. I am here to tell you that every little bit counts. There is something special that occurs when we give. When we give, not only do we open ourselves up to we receive but we begin a cycle of blessings that begin to trickle down. What we receive may not be the gift given but the satisfaction in knowing that your gift will change a life should be blessing enough. Be the gift that changes a life.
The Law of Reciprocity is such that what we give, we absolutely should expect to get back in-kind. Not giving anything will yield similar results; you get nothing. Do not give because you now know that you can expect to reap what you sow; give because your heart tells you to give. I give because I love. I give because I understand that we are all connected. I give because I know that my gifts will change a life. I give because I never know if I’ll ever be on the receiving end. I give because I feel it is my duty to give simply because to whom much is given, so much more is expected.
There was a time when I needed help and help came to me. That is one of the reasons why I give without thinking twice. I challenge you to give your time, your treasure or both if you can. Giving doesn’t just have to be restricted to money; you can give your time to improve the lives of others. Believe it or not, your time is worth more than money. Volunteer your time to improve the lives of others.
If you are not giving back, essentially you are taking from.
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One of the toughest things to do is put your pride aside and ask for help. Perhaps a principle reason could be because you don’t want to seem vulnerable or weak in the eyes of the person you are seeking assistance from. It could be because you falsely believe that you are “strong and independent” enough to handle any challenge that may come your way. Whatever your reason, understand that everybody needs help sometimes. If you are afraid or ashamed to ask for help, how will you ever get it? While you may even believe that you can do it alone, no one who has ever experienced any level of success did so alone.
Could you try figure things out on your own? Of course you can. Keep in mind that not asking for help only makes the burden tougher to bear. Almost everyone has had to move from one home to another at least once in their lifetime. Imagine not soliciting the assistance of movers, friends or family to help you and attempting to do it yourself. Imagine trying to carry a refrigerator by yourself or move a dresser on your own. You probably can’t even imagine it because you probably wouldn’t do it. Asking for help should not be limited to certain things. When you’ve asked for help in the past, you typically received it. Didn’t you? This time will be no different.
Understand that two heads will always be better than one. Much like two hands working to solve the same problem will help achieve a solution more expediently. Your pride is what will keep you from reaching the next level. Your pride is the difference between climbing out of the hole you are currently in and spending a little more time in it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; you never know who will come to your rescue.
Don’t allow your pride to come in between you and your blessings.
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There is nothing greater than being able to depend on others. I learned early on in my journey that you cannot be successful on your own although most of us try our best to prove this theory wrong. Some people may think that just because a particular person garners fame and fortune that they did it on their own. That is a common misconception among the masses which unfortunately sends the wrong message to people trying to emulate them. The truth of the matter is that everyone who has ever experienced success in life have one particular thing in common; a strong support system.
It is absolutely essential that you have a team around you who believes in you and motivates you to be better. You must have people on your team who have your back no matter the circumstances. Your support system includes those who keep you grounded and those who lift you up. Your support system may be family members or they may not be related to you at all. The one thing your support system will have in common is the goal to see you succeed.
The makeup of your support system should not include fans; it includes people who you can count on through good times and bad times. I am more fortunate than most to have members in my support system who tells me like it is, who tells me how it should be and who forces me to be great. There are times when I feel like giving up and my support system is right there telling me why that is not an option.
There were times when I needed financial assistance and I knew I could count on a member of that team to come through. There were times when I needed a shoulder to cry on and I had several to choose from. I spoke to one member recently who told me “I believe in you Joe Paul”. Those six words gave me enough energy to conquer the world. Sometimes all we need is someone to believe in us and we will be able to do the thing we were born to do.
Do not be misled; your support system is not there only for your benefit. You too must add value to this team by being exactly what you expect from them; loyal, honest, dependable and accountable. If you are going to experience success, you must construct a team that encourages you to get to the next level. Your support system should not consist of average people unless you expect average results. Surround yourself around people who think big and expect bigger things from you. You cannot do it alone; that is the only thing that is impossible to do. Believe me, I’ve tried and failed every single time.
Surround yourself around a team of incredible people who force you to be better than you already are.
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If you have been independent for as long as I have it is a bit challenging to ask for help. For more than two decades I have basically had to figure everything out on my own. While there are definite benefits to being independent, one major setback is thinking that you don’t need anyone to assist you with anything. In fact, not only does that type of thinking stifle your growth it also extends the process and speed by which you can experience success. Do not be misled; I am not saying that you will not be successful if you do it on your own. I am simply saying that if you had a little help you may get there a little sooner.
Ever since I was forced into independence, I conditioned my mind to think and even believe that I did not need anyone for anything. I conditioned my mind to think and believe that I can do everything on my own without the assistance of others. Naturally, one will lean towards that type of thinking especially if that is all they know. When we start to think that we do not need anyone, we start to ignore the angels God sends to our rescue. Everything I have ever accomplished in life has been a result of someone helping me achieve it. For a long time, I foolishly believed it was all me; boy was I wrong.
Recently, I was forced to have a paradigm shift from my old way of thinking. I was forced to ask myself, “How will anyone ever know I need help if I never ask?” That is the question I want you to ask yourself. If you are afraid to ask for help because you don’t think, feel or believe that anyone will come to your rescue or are too proud to ask then you are doing yourself a disservice. You will never know until you ask. Imagine being stuck in a burning building, would you yell for help? I don’t know one person who would think to themselves “let me see if I can figure this out myself”. Think of success and achieving your dreams in the same light.
Again, imagine being stuck in a burning building with your dreams and the only way you can get out is to yell for help. What would you do? Don’t be so stubborn and independent that you die with your dreams. Reach out to others for assistance and watch as the hands of angels on earth start to reach back. Not only is it imperative that you graciously accept support, it is critical that you be one of the angels on earth who helps others.
No one who ever became successful ever did it on their own; no exceptions. You truly never know who will come to your rescue until you are brave enough to ask for help.
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I come from a very big family. I am the middle child of eight children that my incredibly amazing mother birthed. I am not sure how she did it but I sure wasn’t going to tell her where she should’ve stopped; she could’ve stopped before me and we know how that story would’ve ended. At any rate, growing up, my father was the bread winner while my mother took care of home; equally difficult jobs yet they both pulled it off quite seamlessly. My father was charged with feeding, clothing and protecting ten individuals including his self. He almost never complained, the key word there is almost. There is one memory I will never forget that has helped me shape the way I see assistance.
I remember one of his co-workers from the manufacturing plant coming over to our house for a beer with my dad one Saturday. They sat outside on the porch and talked about life and typical grown-up stuff. Outside of school, those were the best classes to me, eavesdropping on adult conversations; you can truly learn a lot. My father’s co-worker turned good friend said to my father “with all of those children you should probably get food stamps to help feed them”. My father turned and looked at him and I immediately recognized that look, it was the same look he would give us when we were in trouble. My father said to him “I can provide for my family, if I can’t afford it then we don’t need it. I’m not taking any handouts from anyone. We’re doing fine.”
I will never forget that day because I learned a few valuable lessons which I still practice today. There is a clear difference between needs and wants. I will always be able to afford my needs but I should be able to live without my wants. Many people have difficulty with that concept. I also learned the incredible amount of pride that one can have when they are able to provide for themselves and their family. I’ve never believed in hand-outs but certainly subscribe to hand-ups. If you are going to ask for assistance, it should be temporary and it should be to lift you up. No one should have anything hanging over your head because they’ve helped you out. Do for yourself or live without it.
Finally, I learned that although we didn’t have much growing up, we had more than we needed. Yet in still we were always giving to others. I truly believe that is how people receive, through giving. The more you give, the less you’ll need. The less you need, the more you’ll have to give.
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