Some of us have a hard time asking for help. In most cases, we are so used to doing everything ourselves that we won’t even bother soliciting the assistance of others. Understand that while you are very capable of figuring out your own solutions, you may be able to find one twice as fast if you simply collaborated with others.
In some cultures around the world, it is taboo to ask for help. More specifically, you may have grown up in a home where asking for help was frowned upon. Growing up, I watched my father struggle as he attempted to figure things out himself. I watched as his pride motivated him to choose to remain silent while asking for help would have taken the same effort. It is a combination of pride and ego that restricted him and restricts most of us from reaching out and simply asking for help. This way of thinking and doing was passed down to me much like we learn and adopt a majority of our behaviors from our parents. That does not make it right nor should it be an excuse.
Although a majority of us try, we cannot figure everything out ourselves. Although some see it as a weakness to seek help, it truly takes a strong individual to put their pride aside and ask for help. In my experience, I did not understand the importance of seeking assistance until I finally took a chance and asked. I broke away from what I grew up learning was the way to do things and have benefitted tremendously. The time you spend on your journey towards a goal can be reduced by half if you simply ask for directions. If you don’t ask, you will not receive.
I strongly encourage you to ask for help, you would be surprised how many people would come to your rescue.
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There may come a day when you reach out and call someone but they do not answer. There may come a day when you really need help but no one is around to hear your cry. There may come a day when you are at wits end and just need a friend but no friends are available to come to your rescue. The world can be a lonely place sometimes. When that happens, learn to depend on the only person you’ve been able to depend on your entire life; yourself.
Having to fend for yourself is not easy; trust me, I know. Obviously you can be more effective if you have “back-up” or at least one more soldier on the battlefield with you but that will not always be the case. Some battles are simply yours to fight and certainly yours to win. When you start to feel as if you are the only person who cares about your situation, although you can’t see Him, you are not alone. In essence, even if it seems as if the world has given up on you, God never will.
Learn to depend on yourself. You cannot realistically expect for others to forever be there for you during your time of need. Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up from our bootstraps, dust our shoulders off and keep on truckin’. Please understand that you are not going to enter every war with an army. There may come a time when your entire military consists of an army of one; you.
When it feels like the world has turned its back on you, walk in the understanding that you serve a God that is capable of anything. With God on your side, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
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Sometimes it takes others to recognize our greatness. You have heard before that we are our worst critics; this is true. Think back to something that you didn’t accomplish and how hard you were on yourself. During these times, it is can be a little challenging to accentuate the positives. There is a very good reason why you failed and while you are wallowing in your sorrow, the lesson that should be learned may never be learned. The greatness you possess is sometimes clouded by the judgment you pass on yourself based on your recent loss. Dust yourself off and try again.
Growing up I did not realize that I had innate leadership abilities. During the close of my junior year in High School, my English teacher Ms. Grice approached me prior at the end of the class and said, “Joe, I need to see you after class”. Naturally, I assumed I had done something wrong because I’ll admit, I was a little bit of a trouble maker who certainly did not know nor cared what the future held. Seconds before the bell rung, Ms. Grice’s eyes were fixated on mine as she gestures for me to walk towards her. Unsure about the subject of our meeting, with bated breath I was ready to hear my crime and accept my punishment. Ms. Grice looks at me and says, “Young man, you have a gift. A gift of connecting with people. Every time you say something, your peers listen. You need to put that to good use and not waste it.” The good use Ms. Grice was referring to was running for Senior Class President; a position I had absolutely no interest in seeking.
The subsequent weeks felt like years as I participated in a battle that I had never entered before against a machine I knew nothing about. Sun Tzu would object to my approach on what I considered a war, namely because it is important that you fully understand your enemy if you are going to win the war. Ok, my opponents were not the enemy and this was not a real war yet I was determined to claim victory. The morning announcements concluded with the results of the election and I appropriately sat in Ms. Grice’s class as we all waited. Minutes later my name was announced as the winner. I walked over to Ms. Grice; the well of her eyes began to fill with tears as she reached out to hug me. She said, “I knew you could do it if you only tried. I’m so proud of you.” Thus began my journey of understanding my gifts and maximizing their uses for the good of the order.
While it may take others to recognize our greatness, we must also strive to recognize the greatness in others; especially if they don’t see it in themselves. Ms. Grice helped discover something in me that I had no clue existed. Just like she did for me, I have continued to pay it forward, helping others realize the greatness they innately possess.
As your eyes read these words; your greatness is being manifested.
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One of the toughest things to do is put your pride aside and ask for help. Perhaps a principle reason could be because you don’t want to seem vulnerable or weak in the eyes of the person you are seeking assistance from. It could be because you falsely believe that you are “strong and independent” enough to handle any challenge that may come your way. Whatever your reason, understand that everybody needs help sometimes. If you are afraid or ashamed to ask for help, how will you ever get it? While you may even believe that you can do it alone, no one who has ever experienced any level of success did so alone.
Could you try figure things out on your own? Of course you can. Keep in mind that not asking for help only makes the burden tougher to bear. Almost everyone has had to move from one home to another at least once in their lifetime. Imagine not soliciting the assistance of movers, friends or family to help you and attempting to do it yourself. Imagine trying to carry a refrigerator by yourself or move a dresser on your own. You probably can’t even imagine it because you probably wouldn’t do it. Asking for help should not be limited to certain things. When you’ve asked for help in the past, you typically received it. Didn’t you? This time will be no different.
Understand that two heads will always be better than one. Much like two hands working to solve the same problem will help achieve a solution more expediently. Your pride is what will keep you from reaching the next level. Your pride is the difference between climbing out of the hole you are currently in and spending a little more time in it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; you never know who will come to your rescue.
Don’t allow your pride to come in between you and your blessings.
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I come from a very big family. I am the middle child of eight children that my incredibly amazing mother birthed. I am not sure how she did it but I sure wasn’t going to tell her where she should’ve stopped; she could’ve stopped before me and we know how that story would’ve ended. At any rate, growing up, my father was the bread winner while my mother took care of home; equally difficult jobs yet they both pulled it off quite seamlessly. My father was charged with feeding, clothing and protecting ten individuals including his self. He almost never complained, the key word there is almost. There is one memory I will never forget that has helped me shape the way I see assistance.
I remember one of his co-workers from the manufacturing plant coming over to our house for a beer with my dad one Saturday. They sat outside on the porch and talked about life and typical grown-up stuff. Outside of school, those were the best classes to me, eavesdropping on adult conversations; you can truly learn a lot. My father’s co-worker turned good friend said to my father “with all of those children you should probably get food stamps to help feed them”. My father turned and looked at him and I immediately recognized that look, it was the same look he would give us when we were in trouble. My father said to him “I can provide for my family, if I can’t afford it then we don’t need it. I’m not taking any handouts from anyone. We’re doing fine.”
I will never forget that day because I learned a few valuable lessons which I still practice today. There is a clear difference between needs and wants. I will always be able to afford my needs but I should be able to live without my wants. Many people have difficulty with that concept. I also learned the incredible amount of pride that one can have when they are able to provide for themselves and their family. I’ve never believed in hand-outs but certainly subscribe to hand-ups. If you are going to ask for assistance, it should be temporary and it should be to lift you up. No one should have anything hanging over your head because they’ve helped you out. Do for yourself or live without it.
Finally, I learned that although we didn’t have much growing up, we had more than we needed. Yet in still we were always giving to others. I truly believe that is how people receive, through giving. The more you give, the less you’ll need. The less you need, the more you’ll have to give.
To The Top!
Some of us have a hard time asking for help. In many cases, we are so used to doing everything ourselves that we won’t even bother soliciting the assistance of others. Understand that while you are very capable of figuring out your own solutions, you may be able to find one twice as fast if you simply collaborated with others.
In some cultures around the world it is taboo to ask for help. More specifically, you may have grown up in a home where asking for help was frowned upon. Growing up, I watched my father struggle as he attempted to figure things out himself. I watched as he chose to remain silent when asking for help takes the same effort. I believe that a combination of pride and ego is what restricted him and restricts most of us from reaching out. This was passed down to his children; much like you learned a majority of your ways from your parents. That doesn’t make it right.
Although a majority of us try, we cannot figure everything out ourselves. Although some see it as a weakness to seek help, it truly takes a strong individual to put their pride aside and ask for help. In my experience, I did not understand the importance of seeking assistance until I asked, especially if I really needed it. Your journey towards a goal can be reduced by half if you simply ask for directions. If you don’t ask, you will not receive.
I strongly encourage you to ask for help; you would be surprised how many people would come to your rescue.
To The Top!